The Zen Bride: Defining Ourselves

I wasn't going to acknowledge the new year on my blog, since I thought it wouldn't be that big of a deal to me.  Ummmm....yeah right...looking back, the past year has been one of the most trying years of my life.  I've encountered some cold hard truths that have left my self-image and my perspective shaken.  That said, I've also discovered I am capable of overreaching the obstacles and defining myself in terms of the blessings I've received.  I've decided for myself, not to be defined by heartache.

What does that have to do with you?  Planning a wedding is not easy, and whether it is the first step in the history of you and your husband-to-be, or the hundredth step in many, the small trials and the overwhelming hurdles you will face may leave you discouraged.  As individuals, we constantly evaluate ourselves based our collective failures or successes.  In marriage, where two people are bound in a union that calls for them to function as one, it is natural to do the same.  I hope that you are able to take the successes of the past year, and allow them to be the hallmarks of who you are as a couple, and relegate the failures to the book of lessons learnt.

To the brides of 2010, whether you continue to read my blog or not, I wish you all the best for your very young marriages and pray that you are blessed with many years of enduring love.  I hope life allows that new-bride-glow to linger on your faces, and that you are content in your new homes.  Thank you for honouring me with your stories.  For the brides of 2011, welcome, I look forward to meeting you.  I hope that my work can be a source of inspiration and knowledge to you, and that you find something here worth staying for.

Just a note...

No links this weekend, I'm taking the weekend off away from the laptop to work on some art projects and spend time with my kids....For those who are celebrating, here's to you and yours and wishing you the best of the season!  I'll see you all in the New Year!

Color Theory: Lavender, Antique Blue, Heather, Lemon Souffle and Silver

I am so in love with the colours in the opening scene of Aisha.  The Anamika Khanna design that Sonam Kapoor wore is a vision in snow white, silver and antique blue.  Set it off with heather grey, lavendar and complement it with yellow, and you have the perfect colours for a modern society wedding.

Image Sources: Sonam Kapoor in Aisha via MyDulhanDiaries Blog, Lavendar favour bags via Jubilee Events, Henry Masci via SMP blog, Justin Marantz via SMP blog, wedding scene from the movie Aisha via my copy (screenshot).

Love-ly Locks: Flowers

The movie Aisha showcased several formal hairstyles using flowers.  I know they aren't for everyone, but personally, I feel a few blooms strategically placed can really romanticize a look.  They are also a great way to make a style statement. For example, in the wedding scene at the end, Aisha wore a half garland of jasmines in her hair, which was pulled back in a sleek chignon.  I liked it because it was traditional, but the asymmetrical touch created a contemporary feel.  In the movie's opening scene, her best friend wore a headband of yellow and purple flowers that was kind of funky and fun, just like her character.

The most popular flowers tend to be roses, orchids and lilies, since their dramatic blooms make a bold statement.  But I hope that brides will experiment and try other types of flowers to create their own signature style. Sometimes even fake flowers or flowers made of an unexpected item like feathers can be so pretty.  Here are some more inspiring pictures of brides wearing flowers on their wedding day to get your wheels turning.

Source: project wedding, SMP blog, and google.

Bollywood Bride: Sonam Kapoor in Aisha

This post was written with editorial assistance from my daughter, who suggested that I only include pictures of the "pretty parts."

Aisha, played by Sonam Kapoor, daughter of Bollywood veteran Anil Kapoor, is never actually a bride in this movie. However, I felt that her style and clothing is kind of iconic for the modern, young, and vibrant India, so it was worth writing about.  Since most of the movie featured Sonam K. in European haute couture, I (thankfully) only had a few outfits to cover. 

Watching the movie,wasn't like watching a typical Bollywood movie at all....it was more like a formulaic Hollywood teenage romantic comedy. In fact, I got deja vu, like I'd seen some of the scenes before in another rom-com.  The production values are slick, western, and a lot of the movie felt like a mix of a beer commercial, a Ricky Martin music video, and SATC with a cast of desis.  

I question how much this movie is a representation of the values and the financial prowess of the Indian consumer.  I felt the movie was geared at the growing and increasingly affluent expat audience which watches Bollywood internationally.  Or maybe, this is the direction they are hoping the Indian middle-class is headed?  They are giving them something new to buy into - upper class and euro-centric society living. 

I had to watch it twice to really appreciate the story, even though it was based on the classic novel "Emma", but I loved the visual experience of the movie from the first viewing.  The entire look of the movie was very coherent, with each look matching the style and setting, and all the characters dressed in complementary outfits and colours.

Sonam's style is so easy-going and classy.  I can see why the entire world has a girl-crush on her.  The few formal Asian outfits they do feature are not over the top and contain modern elements and colours that make them easy to love and even easier to wear.  Basically, she didn't look like a christmas tree.  Another great aspect of her look was the makeup.  Varying intensities of the smoky eye, neutral toned eyeshadows and pretty shades of shiny lipgloss make for a repertoire of looks worth copying.  I hope a makeup blogger does a really good tutorial of how to get her look.  If they do, please lemme know!

All images are screenshots captured from my copy of the movie Aisha (2010), directed by Rajshree Ojha and distributed by Anil Kapoor Film Company and PVR films.  Here are a few more of my favourite scenes from the movie.

Worth Noting: SAB Magazine Arrives in Canada and Blog Lovin'

South Asian Bride Magazine - Print Edition
Brides everywhere are probably familiar with the SAB blog, a great resource chock full of visual inspiration.  It has a huge following, and a digital as well as a print magazine.  Up until now, the print edition has only been available in the USA and I never bothered to subscribe to the digital edition, because generally speaking, I've yet to come across a digitial magazine that I didn't get a headache trying to browse.   The print edition has arrived in Canada, and I decided to pick up a copy while in Chapters this afternoon.

You guys...I wanted to like it, I really did, because I love the blog.  But I have to be honest and say I was disappointed.  It was very thin, the ads were for vendors and services located mainly in the continental USA and the content was mostly regurgitated from the blog.  There was very little visual inspiration, and it was poorly designed.  I did like the photospread of Tarun Tahiliani designs and I guess I would say it was a work in progress.  I didn't even bother to check the price, because I wouldn't have paid for it. Hopefully, by being on the shelves of Canadian retailers, they will attract Canadian advertising and content.  And hopefully, they will reinvest in improving the layout of the magazine.

Blog Lovin' - Asian Wedding Ideas for "A Red Wedding"
Blogs are an amazing resource because they are like picking the brains of several hundred of your most creative and resourceful friends all at once.  The number of blogs devoted to South Asian weddings is sadly very limited at the moment, but the more research I do, the more my network grows. I discovered A Red Wedding Blog a few months back while doing some research and since then I keep going back because it provides a constant flow of images and inspiration from all over the web.  Let me tell you, this girl is on top of things, posting two or three times daily with all sorts of eye candy.  My fave post, hands down, is this one featuring a marie antoinette inspired photoshoot, but I truly hate to pick because there's so much goodness here.

To check out this blog, or other blogs click on the Roll Call link in the menu bar above.  Alternatively, if you are a South Asian Bride or wedding vendor with a talent for writing and have your own blog to chronicle it, lemme know so I can add you to my blog roll!!

Sunday Afternoon Pretty: Sisters

There is nothing like the blessing of friendship and sisterhood to carry a woman through her wedding day. This still is from the 2005* movie Barsaat, starring Bipasha Basu and Priyanka Chopra. Source: nerdball.

*The original post stated the movie was from the 1995 version, however, thanks to the assistance of an anonymous commenter, I realized my error!

Designer Bride: Mahrjan By Fahad Hussayn

Designer Fahad Hussayn hails from Faisalabad, where he completed a degree in design at the Beacon House National University. You have surely seen this amazing photoshoot by way of SAB blog.  The model is gorgeous!  Here is another shoot from a magazine (which one?  If anyone knows, lemme know) featuring Mehreen Raheal. To see more of this designer's aesthetically stunning work and boundary-bending photoshoots, check out his bridal couture site. Also, the jewellery, which is soooooo different is by Saira Omar.  I'm not sure who she is, but I will definitely be watching out for her from now on.

Colour Theory: Blush, Jet, Fuschia, and Grey

I cannot get these colours out of my brain, so I figured, I'd turned them into a colour story.  I know, no one wears black to a wedding related event.  But it's sexy, classy and someone should wear it.

Image Sources:  Wedding rings on an orchid from Kristin Vining Photography via SMP blog/Kim Kardashian wearing Nars Schiap! by Troy Jensen/Katrina Kaif in a Black and Pink Saree via mykatrinakaif.com/Wedding decor from photographed by Ikonika Photography via WedluxeMag Online.

Mirror, Mirror...Dresing for the Cold Weather

It is soooooooooo cold outside...I have to go to the library to study, but I am sitting here putting it off because the thought of leaving the house is making my toes cold!  Last season's velvet trend is looking very tempting right about now.  How do you dress for formal events this winter?  Do you have any wedding related events to plan for, engagements, showers, pre- and post- celebration dinners?  What will you be wearing?

I'm thinking I will wear thermals under everything this year.  And I have to sacrifice my vanity and wear boots with everything or I run to the car really fast.

The Pulled Together Bride: Dressing for your Figure

A while back, a lovely reader e-mailed me and asked me to write about dressing for the full-figured bride, and I wrote back, promising her that I would.  Well, lovely reader, if you are still out there, hopefully you remember that e-mail, because unfortunately, it seems to have fallen out of my inbox.  This post is for you.

I put this post off because I hate the premise of it.  The idea that full-figured women are a special category who need "special rules" to follow when dressing seems unfair to me.  I've seen curvy girls on the street 5 or 6 sizes bigger than me pull off clothes that I don't have the guts to wear.  And they look beautiful because they are beautiful and (hopefully) feel beautiful.  Not because what they are wearing is "flattering" or "generous" to their figure. 

I do, however, have some tips that will make dressing for your wedding easier no matter what your size:

• When in doubt, try it on.  If you like it, it's worth a shot, and you may surprise yourself.  The worse that could happen is the changing room mirror won't approve.
• Try a little bit of support; wear spanx.  No matter what size or shape you are, a little bit of shapewear will keep your silhouette smooth.
• Think of your body in terms of proportions more than in terms of size.  For example, girls of all sizes may be top or bottom heavy, and it's easier to dress for that. Click here for an article from kismet magazine covering some of the basics.
• For the most part, wedding gown designers tend to stick to a few basic cuts and opt for a specific range of fabrics.  This is to ensure that their clothes are flattering and easy to wear for the most number of people. 
• Err on the side of being conservative.  Don't flash to much of your lady bits on your wedding day if you are self-conscious about your weight, because you will probably end up feeling uncomfortable and as the hours wear on, you will have a harder and harder time sucking it all in. 
• I am a firm believer that brides are beautiful because they radiate the promise of a new life and love.  People are inclined to see a bride for her beauty and want to admire her, so those around you on your wedding day will look at you and see a beautiful bride. 

Sunday Afternoon Pretty: Oh the Possibilities

Something about the excitement and joy mixed with the sweetly demure expression in this bride's face is quite unforgettable.  Found via Flickr by Emma Saunders.

TGIF

If you read this blog often, you are probably well aware of my love for braids (plaits), which I have mentioned here, here, and here.  So you can probably understand why this bride's hair made my heart skip a beat.  See the rest of this wedding at 100layercake blog.

Happy Friday everyone!  We are experiencing a record-breaking cold snap here in Toronto, and I don't like cold, so I will be spending this entire weekend indoors.  Here are some links that will be keeping me busy:

Free makeup!  Post your picture on the Vasanti Makeup facebook page, and tell them which Vasanti products you are wearing, or what you want to try.  You could win $100 worth of Vasanti makeup!

Limos and sportscars are great, but there's nothing like a vintage car in pristine condition to add a touch of chic whimsy to your getaway!

I am loving this inspired colour palette from Betsy White Stationery, it's so perfect for winter.

You know how when someone returns from India and Pakistan you always quiz them about about what's new over there? No?  Well, I do.  Indo-Canadian Maharani talks about trousseau shopping in India.

The Budget Bride: Costume vs. Precious Metal Jewellery

Costume and Semi-Precious Jewellery

I suspect that if it wasn't for the very strong inducement from our parents to purchase real gold jewellery for our weddings, many of us South Asian Brides would opt to go with costume or semi-precious jewellery.  The sheer selection of gemstones, metal colours, design and styling options is hard to resist.  So is the price. Costume jewellery is made of a base metal, like the ones used in everyday accessories, and set with glass, crystal, or plastic stone.  They are very affordable, retailing for 45 to 60 USD.

Pakistani online retailers, Bargello, offer a large selection of customizable bridal sets in sterling silver and gold-plate. 

Source: Bargello bridal jewellery in gold and jet stones, and topaz and pink set in gold.

If you don't want to go completely basic, but still want a reasonable option, for nearly half the cost of gold, you can get twice the impact in other silver gold-plate and semi-precious stones.  Companies like Kyle's and Bargello offer an excellent selection of high-quality sets set with semi-precious stones.  The high turnover and quick production of these jewellery sets means that they are able to replicate the latest trends and have a constantly revolving selection of the designs.  They are also able to offer more flexibility in terms of personalization. 

For a higher price range, but better quality and the option of precious metal plating, Tejani, Art Karat, and several other fine jewellers offer a beautiful selection of designer options.  Still an overview of a random selection of pieces quickly reveals that they are still far more affordable than gold. 

Kyle's jewellery offers a selection of gold-plated silver sets with crystal stonework.  Their seasonally updated

collection contains everything from traditional styles to contemporary registry pieces ranging in price from

$500 USD for a necklace to $120 USD for earrings. Source: Kyle's Jewellery. To read a personal account of purchasing

from kyle's check out this post by Nazma of AsianFashionBlog.

The downside is that semi-precious just does not have the lustre, prestige or traditional significance of gold.  You may find yourself hard-put (as I was) to convince your parents and your in-laws that it's a better option.  They may feel that by gifting their daughter or daughter-in-law a set made in silver or base metals, they are reducing their prestige, or devaluing the significance of the occasion.  A wedding is a time for the exchanging of auspicious gifts.

Gold

The reality is that gold is a  poor investment choice, but in eastern traditions the emotional and cultural bond to it runs deep, and is unlikely to weaken, despite it's skyrocketing cost.  Personally, I do not care for the look of 22 karat gold, and prefer it as a certificate in my investment portfolio than as a bauble around my neck.

The Shuban pendant, from Art Karat is made from gold-olate silver, and set with semi-precious stones.  The complete

set of necklace and earrings is sold on the website for $395 USD.  On the right, the handcrafted gold peacock

pendant and earring set from ANS jewellers is sold for $3285 USD.  The difference in cost is significant, but if the

purchase of gold is of import, it's easy to see you won't have to compromise on style or personal preference. 

In terms of resale, gold has excellent retention of value, but your labour costs are sometimes double the worth of the actual gold, so it may take years for the value of your gold to increase enough to cover it.  The exception to this is gold purchased in the KSA (Saudi Arabia), where goldsmiths do not charge a labour cost and instead take their profits in the ratio of real gold to additional mixed metals.  So, if for example, you buy a 16-inch rope chain of 22 karat gold, weighing 4 grams, the jeweller will charge you for 4 grams of 24 karat gold.

You may have to take into account other maintenance costs, such as the poor-tax (zakaat) paid annually by Muslim women and the cost of storage in a bank vault. These are minimal, (2.5% of any gold over 85 grams is taxable and vault fees at banks range from $20 to $40 USD)  but still worthy of taking into account in your budget, particularly if you are the benefactee of two or three heavier sets.  Cash-strapped newlyweds often forget to budget these in, and are taken by surprise when it comes time to pay them.

Another consideration is gemstones.  When the goldsmith weighs and prices the jewellery, he will include the weight of the gemstones as part of the weight of the gold in his calculations.  When you go to sell it on the other hand, he will subtract the weight of the gemstones before paying you for the weight of the gold. This is probably why your mother will recommend you go for a solid gold set as opposed to one with gemstone settings.

Gold bridal jewellery is elaborate, and quite heavy, often containing more than 100 grams of gold and costing

approximately $6000 USD, such as this rani haar and earring set from Meena Jewellers. Source: Meena Jewellers Online.

If you like the look of gold, or your traditions require that you have at least one real set, you can expect that a standard earring and necklace set will contain a minimum of 100 grams of gold and cost up to $6000 USD.  The amount of attention to detail and man hours in bridal jewellery is also higher, so that will increase your costs.  To avoid this, you can choose to go with a lighter set from a formal collection, and supplement it with heirloom pieces from your family, or even a costume set.

The Budget Bride

Brides on a budget can consider having one set in real gold, for the day of the actual marriage ceremony, when they will most likely be wearing a traditional attire that will complement the choice of a pure gold set anyway.  Their second set, for the reception, could be in a less costly option, from costume to semi-precious.  Choosing a simpler design, such as a pendant instead of a bib choker, can also significantly reduce your costs, while also transitioning away from the ultra-traditional look.  Also to address the question of gemstones set in gold, in order to avoid losing value, a good option if you still want some colour in your set is the Meena Kari style of jewellery, in which enamel is painted onto the gold, without adding much weight.

TGIF

If you follow other South Asian Wedding blogs, you've definitely seen this bride before,

 but there are more pics of this gorgeous bride's style that weren't posted on any blog

that are definitely worth seeing over at aredwedding blog.

How is it that I always start out the week full of energy and ideas and by the end they are all gone?  I have been reading my fave blogs over morning tea, looking for some inspiration,  here are some pretty things I found:

This pretty bride decided she wasn't happy with her Walima pics and opted for a reshoot.  What do you think, something you might be willing to try?

I would love to have any of these pieces in my home: artwork from three talented ladies.


As I've mentioned before, I am a huge fan of embroidery, a Suzani embroidered cushion, from the country of Uzbek, is something I've been searching for.

Most "budget" ideas for wrapping presents are actually kind of ugly.  This idea from Aisha, at LoveAlways, Aisha blog is actually stylish and pretty.

Also, I saw Guzaarish, and I'm sorry to say, I didn't love it.  I found it overly sentimental and very irrelevant.  I did, however, enjoy the clothes stylings, courtesy of Sabyasachi, and I think they may have based the set on these images of his Mumbai store. What a space to be inspired in! Found via Aisha's blog (thank you!).

Also, do you follow gift guides, if you do, which ones?  Are you writing your own on your blog, for which holiday or event?

Mirror, Mirror...

Slowly but surely working my way over that mid-week hump.  Help me through it: Brides-to-be, what colours will you be wearing?  Brides past, what colours did you wear?  Brides future, what colours do you hope to wear someday?

I wore a tafetta silk blue-green for my mehndi (loved it, my friend did my makeup and she added a tiny bit of orange eyeshadow to my otherwise blue-greeny lids in the inner corners that really set the whole look off),  a rusty rose pink for my nikah (mermaid cut), and a very traditional maroon-red for the walima.