The Pulled-Together Bride: Understanding Your Lengha - The Kameez

It took a long time to write this post after my last post on the skirt because I wanted to take time to create an informative and comprehensive primer on the main elements of the lengha kurta, or bodice.  I make it sound like rocket science, but it's not.  It's just that there's a lot of options when it comes to designing a kurta, and it has a huge impact on how flattering the lengha is.  Because Asian designers allow a lot more customization in creating your wedding outfit then in the traditional western white wedding dress, it is easy to become overwhelmed.

Making the Lengha Kurta

Although it is unlikely that most brides will wear such a revealing top on their wedding day, by condensing all

the elements of the kameez into such a small sample allows designers to showcase it with maximum impact.

This garment requires quite a bit of construction, and correct measurements will have a huge impact on how it turns out.  Whether you are buying your lengha in North America, or travelling overseas to buy it, it helps to give both physical measurements and take a sample of a garment that you already like the fit of.  Between the measurements of the two, any experienced tailor can work out the measurements to make the top suit your best.  Generally speaking, there is a lot less embroidery on the shirt, so in that respect, it may work out to be cheaper.  If you are not going overseas, but will be ordering it via family that is travelling, it helps to go into a shop and try out their stuff to see what works on you.

The Finished Piece

A well constructed top will generally have several pieces similar to a corset, or pleats to create a curvier, more constructed shape.  Many tops will have a zipper at the back or cords to pull them tighter and improve the fit.  It's a good idea to request a lined top, as this added element will completely change the way it sits on your body.

The construction of a kurta is relatively standard, so there isn't any exorbitant charge for the labour.  You can also expect that embroidery is kept to a minimal on the top.   Generally speaking, this is the case because on a lengha, most of the work is done on the skirt, so to balance it out, designers avoid putting to much on top. 

Materials and Colours

Again, I'm a huge fan of natural fabrics, and you can go to my post on the lengha skirt for my reasons why, and options available.  To balance the heavy impact of the skirt, designers use elements such as a fully embroidered bodice, or more recently, a very rich fabric such as velvet or pure banarasi silk.  This is a less expensive way to include the richness of a certain material in your dress.  It also helps to even out the whole

Colour is important here, because the colour you choose will impact the illusion your dress gives.  If you go with one colour for both your kurta and skirt, you will appear taller, whereas contrasting kurta will cut you in half and reduce your height.  Think of it as an illusion. When you wear one colour, your eye moves across and registers it as one long object.  Contrast, on the other hand, will be registered by the mind as two smaller objects put together, resulting in one small object.  Also, a bright colour on top will have the effect of making it appear larger, so it's better for brides who want to create the illusion of a bigger chest.  If, on the other hand, you are looking to minimize, it may be a good idea to go with a more demure colour in your kurta.

Customization
The options for customization on lengha tops are almost endless.  However, it's a good idea to stick to classic designs for two reasons:  Firstly, when you look at your pictures in 10, 15 years, you don't want to look at them and think, "What was I thinking".  Classic designs withstand the test of time, so they will always look good.  Secondly, designers tend to work with a set of pre-drafted patterns, and will apply them to your lengha when they are constructing.  Extra customization outside of the basic options means more work for the designer, and up go your labour costs.

There are a number of classic options for clothing design, choosing from them

 will ensure that you will get the most flattering and memorable look for you. (Click to enlarge). 

There are a number of different designs, and as a general rule, most people are instinctually drawn to like the styles that work for them.  Think of the tops you wear on a daily basis, are you scoop neck t-shirt girl, or do you go for a v-neck, for example.  If you are unsure, there are a number of articles, videos and blogppost on the web covering which shapes would be most flattering for you.  Just google "flattering dress silhouettes" or something along that lines. 

When it comes to how much skin you want to reveal, it's a good idea to pick your best feature and choose the design element that reveals that feature to your best advantage.  I'm more conservative in my taste, so I wouldn't do a bandeau top with a belly-baring hem.  But maybe some more daring brides would be comfortable in that for a casual reception.

Longer sleeves and Kurta are everywhere on the runway.

Trends include the longer kurta, particularly from Pakistani Designers.  Long sleeves are also seeing a bit of a resurgence. Modest elements like these are excellent if you are a hijab-wearing bride. If, on the other hand, you are not and are worried about looking matronly, you can If you are feeling very overwhelmed, ultimately it may be your best bet to defer to the designer's choice.  The model you see in the store or catalogue is more often than not the best look.

Love at First Sight: Lengha From Chunri Creations

It can be fascinating to watch the evolution of a design concept, especially when you see it happening over a successive number of seasons and clothing pieces.  When I first saw velvet on the runway several seasons ago, and then in the lookbooks of major Indian fashion retailers, I thought it wouldn't last.

Source: Suhaag.com

Velvet is an antiquated fabric and in modern times, when most of us dress casually and wear jackets and jumpers to keep warm, it serves little practicality in form or function.  The truth is, very few brides get married in the winter, so a full velvet lengha like the one I mentioned in this post, is unlikely to sell.  Hence the re-invention of velvet as an applique piece on a lengha skirt, or the front of a bodice. You can see an example of that in this beautiful Lengha from Chunri Creations.

This one is actually for my sister, who spotted this design and fell in love with the contrast of the rich turquoise and red with black and gold.  It's really amazing how you think you've seen it all, and designers floor you with another expected colour combination or fabric application.  The demure black velvet applique combined with the sexy, jewel-toned silk panels come together in an unexpected marriage of modern and classic, for the bride who refuses to be pigeonholed.  Price: Available on request from Chunri Creations.

The Accessorized Bride: English-Veil Style Dupatta

Source: Khubsoorat Collection by Mani Kohli

So, a long time ago I stumbled on this look in Asiana Wedding Magazine and fell in love with it.  Brides are always e-mailing in saying they are looking for novel ways to wear their dupatta.  This picture from Mani Kohli's Khubsoorat Collection demonstrates the perfect way to capitalize on the trend of tulle dupattas for the fusion bride.  Loving the crystal detail on the dupatta border.  What do you think, keeper or not?

The Zen Bride: Marriage and the Myth of Instant Gratification

Marriage, in its better manifestations, is a haven of love, compassion, companionship and acceptance.  Your partner will presumably complement you in many ways and make your life better.  So it is natural to expect that that after you two are finally together, your every need, physical and emotional, will be fulfilled with push-button immediacy.  But then why is it that so many newlyweds are entering the married state, only to find that they feel...empty?

In theory, we all know that we have to work at being married, but the truth of it is that for a long time during the engagment and early days of marriage, the chemical buzz of attraction will make up for a lot.  It can be hard to acknowledge that love does not conquer all, and there is no magic word of key that opens the door to fun, romance and passion.  Pride, denial, and depression are key factors in preventing couples from moving past this small roadblock.

My suggestion to newlywed couples would be that they practice the fine art of anticipating their partner's needs.  Sounds easy enough, but wait till you try it.  Ideally, your partner will communicate to you exactly what they need, but in most cases for a variety of reasons, they will not.  I am not saying be a mind reader, but there are some common basic needs and it is more than likely that they will need to be addressed on a regular basis.  If, for example, you find that your significant other comes home starving from work, out of consideration prepare food in advance and have it ready when he or she arrives.  It is dry advice, not like the usual stuff about talking about your fantasies, or buying lingerie, or planning date nights (yuck), but it does work.  All you need is a little bit of patience and the desire to be in love.

Image Source: Silver-coloured Sherwani from Bargello.

The Bride's Lookbook: Colourful and Contemporary from Malinda at Banglez

Source: Banglez.com

The first time I saw the bangle-wrapped ponytail in Malinda's photoshoot for her jewellery, makeup and styling business, I knew I'd found someone who was stylish but had an imagination she wasn't afraid to use.  The result is a contemporary and bold look that will give you something outside of the box yet sophisticated and pretty.  Here is a sampling of the looks she has created.  To find out more about her, or to book her services, go to her website by clicking here.

Worth Noting: Vendor Directories

Planning a Desi wedding in North America can feel a bit like having a GPS to guide you through a village market.  A lot of businesses haven't quite caught up to the concept of maintaining a live web presence, and many are trying hard to protect their ideas.  But, a new generation of vendor is coming to age, and as they do, many visionaries are working hard to create web portals for South Asian brides.  Here are a few good vendor directories for you to peruse:

Milni
Canadian Brides outside of the GTA have a difficult time finding vendor since most of the focus of South Asian Businesses concentrate themselves here.  Enter Milni, their aim is to provide resources to South Asian Brides who don't live in Toronto or Vancouver.

Wedding Sutra
One of the few sites that was around when I was planning my wedding, Wedding Sutra is still going strong and offering North American brides an overwhelming plethora of ideas and information.

Indian Wedding Site
Similar to Wedding Sutra, and somewhat newer.  I prefer the cleaner design of this website and the blog style of the front page.  Real Weddings and Brides are easily accessible, so it's easy to get to all the wonderful ideas featured here.  They cover all of the USA and Canada.

Maharani Weddings' Platinum Guide
Their aim is to feature the tried and tested cream of the crop of Indian Wedding Vendors in California, Florida, Illinois, New York and Washington DC.  The guiding principal behind a lot of these vendors is that they are worth cost...read, pricey.  Their work is often featured in the real weddings showcase on the MW blog.

Sindhoor
This vendor directory is aimed at brides in the GTA area.  Featuring wedding advice and blog by a real bride planning two different bridal looks.

Asian Wedding Network
For UK brides, one of the best features of this page is the clickable map right in the middle of the first page.  Narrows down your search right from the get go.  I like the easy, uncluttered interface of this site.

Your Dream Shaadi
Although I find it a little bit cluttered, this site is extensive, covering both national and international vendors in its directory.  I really like the articles on this site, they are informative, thorough and easy to read.

Now, I'm going to be honest, I did not use any of these directories except for Wedding Sutra in planning my marriage.  And even then, I didn't actually use any of the vendors they featured.  Most of these directories were not existent when I got married, and the ones that were tended to feature only expensive vendors, which do not suit the budget bride, which I was.  How much that has changed since then, I don't know, but I would be curious to hear your experiences with these sites, and suggestions for others if you have them.

Worth Noting: More Blog Lovin'

Blogging can sometimes feel like being in a black hole. There isn't as much networking between South Asian bloggers, and vendors and readers, so at times, it can feel like no one is reading, or there is no one else writing about the same topics.  That's why it is always nice to find other bloggers talking about Indian weddings.  Here are a few that I've discovered recently:

Inspirational Laddu:
Funny name aside, this blog is full of good pics of pretty weddings and prettier brides.  There are some amazing gems of wisdom here, whether you are planning a wedding or experiencing the peculiar in-between world of newlyweds.  Some of my fave posts are the pictures of Umar Sayeed's fashion show (MUST see) and pics from Zarah and Aadil's Shaadi and Valima (Gorgeous bride!).

Kajal Couture:
Kajal guest-blogged as "Bollywood Rani" over at Maharani Weddings during her wedding planning days, and now she is a newlywed, but she is also a makeup artist!  There is a lot of information here about wedding day planning from someone who just finished doing it successfully, and plenty of information on big day makeup.  My fave post is her description of her experience shopping for bridal wear.

These and other blogs I love and read can be found in my blogroll by clicking on the "Roll Call" link above.

Color Theory: Versatile Hot Pink

Hello everyone, happy Monday.  Hot pink is one of those contemporary colours that will always remain stylish.  It's ability to work in both warm and neutral colour schemes makes it easy to incorporate in any summer look, from a sunny and fun mehndi scheme, to a cool and sophisticated black tie reception.

Tooba Siddiqui in hot pink and yellow-gold.  For a makeup breakdown, click here.  Source: Paklinks (swatches are mine)

Kim Kardashion in Nars Schiap lipstick. Source:  Troy Jensen Blog (swatches are mine)

The Zen Bride: Change

Us desis, we don't like it.  We take particular pride in the fact that our culture has remained unchanged for so many centuries.  So it's no wonder that when someone gets married, everyone worries that they may change, and carefully watch out for any signs of it.  When they do start to do something differently, for the guy, we act like he's lost his manhood, and for the girl, it's as though she's given up control of her life.

This attitude is unfair, unrealistic and potentially damaging to a marriage.  The fact is that marriage is yet another huge milestone in our initiation into the world of grown-ups.  Of course you are going to do some things differently. That being said, some people start to ignore their family and friends, overwhelmed and possibly enraptured by the experience of being married. This is temporary, and as the couple becomes more secure in their new married status, it tends to pass. It just requires a little patience on everyone's part.

If we don't adapt ourselves to the unique requirements of married life, it will inevitably alter us, whether we want to or not.  Because let's face it, no one wants to settle down with five year-old princess or a schoolboy.  If they did, they would have looked into adoption first.

Image Source: Capri Arianna from Bargello

The Bride's Lookbook: Hot Summer Bridal Makeup

I found these images via paklinks, and although I loved them, I had no idea what I was going to do with them since none of them came with a breakdown of how to achieve the look.  So I talked to my best friend, who did my bridal makeup and is ah-mazing at this stuff, and she worked out the looks for me as follows:

 Image Source: Paklinks

To achieve this look:

Prepare the face with a foundation or airbrush base. Apply highlighter or shiny white eyeshadow under  the outer corner of the eyebrows, follow with light grey-green eyeshadow on the eyebrow bone all over, then apply dark grey-green eyeshadow on the eyelid, line the top lid with thin black eyeliner, do the same with the inside lid, line the bottom lid dark grey eyeshadow under the eye with a thin brush, blending it at the end so that it meets the eyeshadow on top eyelid's corner crease. Add false lashes or apply mascara. For the cheeks, use a rose-pink blush. For lips, dark magenta or purple liner and al lighter purple lipstick.

Image Source: Paklinks

To achieve this look:

Prepare the face with a foundation or airbrush base. Apply beige eyeshadow or highligher under the outer corner of the eyebrows. Sweep a golden-brown eyeshadow to highlight the entire brow bone and eyelid area and add a little bit of magenta or fuschia-tone eyeshadow to the outer corner of the eyelid. Using a thin brush, apply a thick line of black eyeshadow on the top lid at the lash line and blend. Line the bottom lash line using the same golden-brown that was used on the top lid. Top this with a line of magenta shadow, and blend. Apply mascara and shape the eyebrows using a brown eyebrow pencil. For the cheeks, use a bronzer or golden-brown shade of blush . Line the lips with a neutral pink lipliner, fill in with neutral pink lipstick and top with a coat of shimmery lipgloss.

Picture-Perfect Bride: How to Hold a Bouquet

Bouquets are a relatively new accessory for the Indian or Pakistani Bride.  They are a good touch if you are looking for a fusion look, love flowers, or don't want to hold a clutch.  They also give you something to do with your hands in pictures.  There are, however, lots of wrong ways hold a bouquet and if you aren't careful you'll end up looking like you are holding a weapon or a baseball bat.

First, only carry a bouquet if you want to.  Just because someone presents you with one on the day of is not a good reason to have one.  You can set any bouquet you are given in water and add it to the decor, or give it your photographer to use as a prop for pictures.  Because whatever else, they do make for some lovely pictures.

At the florist's, have an idea of how you want the bouquet to look.  Be sure to take along pictures. A friend of mine fell in love with a picture of a tropical bouquet ending in a trail of dangling blossoms. The model was holding her bouquet down with her arm outstretched to emphasize the trail and my friend kept that image in the back of her mind when she designed her own flowers.

Carry the bouquet nearer to your hips and waist to avoid blocking out the essential parts of your profile such as your face, neck, chest, and shoulders.  Keep your elbows away from your body as you hold it.  You will probably find yourself doing this due to the weight of the bouquet anyway, but people have a tendency to raise their bouquets high when they pose for pictures.

And one last, random tip: if you have small hands (I do) make sure that the stem of your bouquet is narrow enough for you wrap your fingers all the way around, otherwise you will be struggling with it throughout the reception.

Image Source: Ayesha Ahmad Photography

Worth Noting: Art Karat Exhibit

Source: Art Karat Webstore

Art Karat, designed by Asha Kamal Modhi, is an artistic and fashion forward line of jewellery that relies on private exhibitions at the homes of enthusiastic individuals or businesses to showcase their work.  This week, they will be having just such a show at the Sheraton Parkway Hotel in Toronto.  Don't think I'll go, but I enjoy looking at the pictures online.  I probably will check it out in a couple of years, when I have more time...and money.  Their latest collection is Paheli, inspired by Rajasthani art, click here to see it.  You can also check out a previous collection, Vivah, by clicking here.

The Discerning Bride: Kajol's Earrings from My Name is Khan

Hi there!

I just came across your blog post about Kajol in My Name is Khan--specifically, her earrings at the mehndi party. I'm totally with you, they are/were spectacular and, I am now desperate to find them! (I'm actually getting married in December 2010 so, coming across your blog was a godsend this morning!).

You mentioned in the post that you thought these earrings might become a trend of some sort. Actually, I hope that they do, in time for my own mehndi party, since I'd really like to wear them! But I've searched and searched and, can't find them anywhere. The closest that I've come is to these fabulous gold hoops by Viv & Ingrid (one of my all-time fave jewelry companies), but, especially since they are made by American designed, they aren't quite the "voluptuous" size or shape of Kajol's.

In any case, I am desperately on the hunt and would love it if you had any leads to finding these. So many thanks for posting about them and, for your blog generally!

Best,
S.

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Hi S,

First off, I'd like to congratulate you on your upcoming wedding, and I'm so glad you found this blog and think it's helpful.  Second, I apologize for this extremely late reply (readers, it has taken me over two weeks to reply to this e-mail!). It's not cause I was being lazy or ignoring you.  I was just trying desperately to find more leads for those earrings!  Thank you, by the way, for your link, hopefully it'll come in handy for other brides. 

Unfortunately, I just haven't had any luck.  I did however, find a few pairs of earrings that I think mimic the look of Kajol's earrings.  While watching the video from the movie (click here to see it), I felt that the thing I loved the most about the earrings was the tiny beads and the way they moved.  So, I talked to Gosia of Gosia Meyer Jewellery on Etsy and she told me that they may have been wrapped on the hoops using a special crocheting technique. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to copy it, but she did offer me some selections from her own work that she felt she could modify in design to look similar to the ones Kajol wore. Here is what we came up with:

If you took this earring style:

Source: Gosia Meyer Jewellery on Etsy

And used these beads:

Source: Gosia Meyer Jewellery on Etsy

Wrapped them all the way around like these:

Source: Gosia Meyer Jewellery on Etsy

You would get earrings similar to Kajol's!  Mind you, the additional beads and triple strand would rack up the cost.  But there are a couple of options that I personally love just as they are.  I have always been a sucker for pearls, so these ones are right up my alley:

  

Source: Gosia Meyer Jewellery on Etsy

Hope this helps!  And here's to hoping you dance up a storm at your Mehndi!

Warmly,

Asiya

The Inspired Bride: Forever Summer

Karima and Gaurav's Wedding Tent in New Delhi, India. Source: SAB blog

My mother-in-law was an avid gardener before the arthritis in her hands got the better of her, but she is still a huge lover of flowers and fruit and is fond of telling me that there's nothing like the Kashmiri sunshine to bring out the vibrant colour of flowers and the sweetness of fruit.  Well, I think our Canadian sunshine could rival anyone's and now that it's here, I feel like everything has been dead for six months and the whole world is finally coming to life again.  Here's to sunshine, flowers and vibrant colour;  long live summer.

Picture Sources from the top left:  Golden Fhilip Gharara from Bargello/ Payal-embellished marigold bouquet from InStyle Brides via MarigoldsandMithaiBlog/Wedding Mandap by Pink Rock Designs via MaharaniWeddingsBlog/Model Tooba Siddiqui in bridal attire via paklinks.com/colourful gel henna cones from beachcombers.